October 21, 2004

Dead Horses

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Changing the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Donating the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Doing a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve productivity.
16. Purchasing an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declaring that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
18. Forming a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
19. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for horses.
20. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Posted by Joe at October 21, 2004 9:20 AM
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